Learmount.com’s series on awful airline experiences today looks at a European carrier’s attempt to persuade booked passengers that their trips will not be as bad as the online reviews.
Holidaying passengers flying Vueling are promised that they can start winding down – or up – as soon as they’re airborne. Here’s the just-announced pan-Europe mix of goodies in the Barcelona-based carrier’s bespoke summer cocktail, dubbed “Vueling in the Clouds”: Cava, ratafia (a sweet dessert wine), gin, limoncello, and elderflower liqueur.
This chilled delight is topped, according to Vueling’s press release, with a “cloud of candyfloss” – presumably supplying the promised “instagrammability”. If that doesn’t put the stressed travellers in a good mood, nothing would.
Looking at Tripadvisor reviews for Vueling, nearly half score in the “terrible” category, and if you add the “poor” votes as well the total comes to well over half. Complaints range widely from delay, cancellation and overbooking to awful customer service. On the other hand, adding the “excellent” voters to the “good”, together they make up less than a third of the total. Very few fliers seem to tick “average”.
In “Overview”, Vueling scores 2.5 out of 5. The only categories where scores beat 2.5 are value for money, cleanliness and check-in/boarding. Even those, however, don’t exceed 3 out of 5. However, there are nearly 4,000 (out of about 35,000 reviews) who rated Vueling excellent, so at least some passengers get lucky.
Don’t kid yourself: luck is what gets you a “good” low-cost flight. You’re not expecting much, so if absolutely nothing goes wrong, the trip will feel excellent. On budget airlines margins for everything, commercially and operationally, are so tight that it is rare for everything to go right for every passenger.
Sad though it is to have to admit it, alcohol can indeed do the trick. A trip I took with EasyJet recently was pretty stressful at every stage from check-in to disembarkation, and I found myself shoe-horning my creaking frame into the tightest seat row I have ever experienced. Once seated, I felt awful about the prospect of the 3h flight ahead.
Normally, if I choose to drink on flights, my purpose is pleasure and relaxation. This time I wanted oblivion. One G&T later I was feeling slightly better, and after a second I felt ready to forgive EZY and its crew. It had worked, and EZY’s bar had profited.
That’s what Vueling hopes to achieve, but there are risks. Alcohol doesn’t always pacify passengers, and it’s the cabin crew who are left with the task of managing the results.
Maybe the answer is a general anaesthetic delivered via the cabin air conditioning. Meanwhile, “Vueling in the Clouds” will have to do.
On second thoughts, maybe it was irresponsible of me to make that suggestion, because Michael O’Leary (Ryanair’s boss) might yet sell it to you as an option!
Learmount.com 